We interrupt our usual program for a short PSA regarding sexism abroad: what it can look like, how it can affect us, and some tips on how to combat it. It's just something that's been on my mind a lot these days and I want to share my thoughts and also open up the dialogue to other women who travel.
Sexism can be subtle.
At home and abroad, sexism often takes the form of small comments and group practices. This kind of sexism is annoying at best and at worst, an insidious slope towards more overt sexism. It could be a disrespectful address, a dismissive tone, a stereotype, unfunny joke, or inappropriate remark. The worst kind in France is definitely cat-calling.
How it affects us abroad:
Sometimes it's hard to distinguish subtleties of speech in a country where you haven't mastered the language. That doesn't mean we are deaf to looks, tones, or situations that are uncomfortable. Like all forms of sexism abroad, you are not as equipped to respond the way you normally would in scenarios because it is no longer your normal environment - which creates a feeling of vulnerability.
Sexism can inhibit certain experiences.
This is the not so subtle kind of sexism that is often attributed to foreign countries with strict gender roles. Have you ever heard someone say "Oh, you shouldn't go to that country because they don't treat women the same there" ? Well, I'm here to tell you that this type of inhibition occurs in nations we consider "socially progressive", as well. Whether outright, such as laws restricting women from certain activities, professions, etc. or indirect, such as preconceptions (or individuals!) that prevent you from participating in something you might otherwise.
How it affects us abroad:
Need an indirect example? Since arriving in Lyon I have tried to broaden my circle of acquaintances and make new friends. One of my favorite applications for doing so is called 'Meet Up', a tool that allows you to create groups and organize public events. I used it often in Eugene to connect with other French-speakers. It's a great app; I have met lots of friendly people and had multiple get-togethers in Lyon with the application - that is, until recently.
After two consecutive meetings where I had to politely decline the group leader or "animator's" propositions to leave the group with him to go clubbing or to a bar, (which I did not feel comfortable doing so nor was it required of me as a participant) I found myself banned from that specific meet up. He had left me a message asking me not to "not come again" and then blocked me so I couldn't reply. This is how sexism can inhibit experiences. I do not feel comfortable going to this event anymore and for what? All because I didn't cater to some pathetic dude's need for attention. Whether by written law, intimidation, or exclusion, men can dictate women's experiences abroad.
Sexism can harm.
Physical violence and sexual assault are not isolated incidents but rather the product of a culture of sexism and misogyny. Unfortunately, that culture doesn't know borders. Subtle or overt, disrespecting women is a choice and it normalizes and encourages violence against them.
How it affects us abroad:
A study in 2012 found that young women were five times more likely to be raped during a semester abroad than a semester at home. Much less documented, human trafficking is another deadly threat to young women in foreign countries. These are dark examples of how our experiences abroad can be shaped by fear. While not everyone will experience this level of violence, almost all women who travel have a story regarding sexism or misogyny and know that they are at a higher risk than their male counterparts to be subjected to violence.
TIPS ON HOW TO COMBAT SEXISM AND THRIVE WHILE ABROAD
Seek Resources
I didn't even know the emergency numbers in France until a week ago (dial 112 for all of Europe emergencies, 17 for the French police specifically.) When you move abroad you should take a moment to figure out who to contact in an emergency situation, how to report a crime, what neighborhoods are considered high risk, and how late the public transportation runs. You should also identify the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate, as they are available for emergency assistance 24/7. Not familiar with an area? Here's a helpful app for identifying safe routes. Here is a comprehensive list of resources for sexual assault survivors.
Build community
Moving to a new country can be hard and joining networks or groups destined for women can help. Sharing common experiences and developing female friendships can be empowering, a useful outlet for dealing with sexism and a starting place for combating it. I was glad to see multiple Meet Up groups dedicated to women and even happier to discover Lyon's gender-friendly and feminist events program / resource guide, "Sissy". Looking to meet travel partners or locals? Here is a travel networking app designed exclusively for women.
Take Action
Solidarity is not passive. Never leave another woman in a situation you know isn't safe. If you feel safe doing so, confront perpetrators. Report inappropriate behavior, get people banned. Be vocal about issues and advocate on whatever platform you have. Volunteer, sign a petition, go to a rally. An example of how women keep other women safe in Lyon is by becoming "ambassadors" on bus or metro lines, so that there is always someone there keeping watch. I thought that was pretty innovative!
Start a dialogue with men
Sometimes the dialogue is as short as telling them to "fuck off". Other times (when circumstances permit) it can be a shared learning experience. For instance, sometimes I ask my French friends: Is this a cultural thing or is this inappropriate? What would you do in my place? In every instance, these men have validated my experiences by condemning the behavior and simultaneously providing solutions that prioritize my safety and well being. While this is not everyone's technique, I find it really gratifying to engage in this kind of open, genuine dialogue because it helps me navigate positive and negative male interactions without feeling repulsed by the country itself.
I'd like to end this post by asking other women about their experiences, (in France or elsewhere).with sexism and what they do to deal with it.
If you have tips or resources you'd like to share, feel free to contact me at sdonovan687@gmail.com or in the comments. Safe travels !
(Metro graffiti on Parisian exposition ad for women in art. Reads: "An actual free woman never poses." Siobhan Donovan, 2016.
Top photo was taken in the Croix Rousse. Reads: "Our bodies belong to us. Abortion. Contraception. Accessible and free." Siobhan Donovan, 2017.)